Cohen Lucas McFarlin

I had all intentions to write everything down about Cohen's birth soon after it happened. Life was just a little crazy, and I needed to finish my last week of my accounting class. After getting through my final and final project, I just didn't feel like writing or doing much on the computer.

It is crazy that is has been almost three weeks since I had Cohen. He has been amazing! We couldn't have asked for a better baby. It has been a little adjustment adding him to the family, but we all love him so much! I love watching Landon and Cohen together! It is so cute how excited Landon is to be a big brother.

This pregnancy was by far harder than my pregnancy with Landon. I am so thankful that I was able to be pregnant this one last time (my doctors said no more) but it was a very trying pregnancy. It wasn't just physically trying but mentally and spiritually as well. There were a few times that I wasn't sure I was going to be able to make it through. Luckily I have an amazing husband and family that were there for me to help me through.

I had been having contractions for about four weeks before our scheduled induction. Every week at my appointment the doctor would say he could come anytime. We were sure he would come early, but it didn't happen. Our induction was scheduled for the day I was 39 weeks. Thursday the 10th of September arrived, and we woke up, got ready, called to make sure they had room, and then just went in.

At first they put us in a room that was further from the nurses station. When they were getting everything set up the machines were not working right so they decided to move us, and we ended up being right across from the nurse's station. I joked with Keith that the problem patient's go across from the nurse's station (I may have cursed us a little). After getting settled in and all the monitors hooked up they asked how I was feeling and what I was dilated to at my last appointment. I told them I was at at three on Tuesday, and they said that I could have an epidural anytime and got my Pitocin started. I wanted to wait awhile to get the Pitocin going and working before I got the epidural.

I texted my dad and told him how things were going. He reminded me how fast things went with Landon and told me I should probably get the epidural sooner than later. When the nurse came in the next time, I told her I wanted the epidural.Within 5 min, I had an anesthesiologist in my room getting me prepped for the epidural.It took some time to get in because the needle didn't get in the right place the first time. Once it was in I could immediately feel it working. It was about 8:45ish and I were only at 4 cm. They started to have some issues getting the heart rate and the contraction reading on the external monitors, so they had to put in internal monitors to get a better reading.

About 9:15 they came in and said there were some dips in the baby's heart rate with contractions and if there wasn't improvement and /or progress in dilation we may be looking at a c-section. I did my best to keep calm because I knew how important it was for my heart. With the epidural in I could not move my legs at all so Keith would come and move them and rub them to make me more comfortable. Nurses kept coming in every 20-30 min to turn me to help keep the baby's heart rate up and to check the progression of dilation. Around 11:20 I was feeling a lot of pressure and as I was thinking of calling the nurse she walked in to check everything because the baby's heart rate was not doing well again. I told her I was feeling a lot of pressure, and she checked my dilation and I was 10 cm, and the baby was very close to coming out. I had Keith call my mom quickly to have her get to the hospital asap since she was about 20 min away. Then everything went a little crazy.

The nurse quickly ran out and got the charge, nurse. When the charge nurse came in she did not like how the baby;s heart rate looked and decided they needed to call a code white which means they need a doctor right away to help deliver. Within a minute, there were about 25 people in my room to get things ready to deliver. There was a doctor I didn't know, respiratory therapist, the NICU team, multiple nurses, and techs. They were trying to get a hold of my doctor who was in the clinic. The doctor who came is wasn't an OB, but he said he used to deliver babies a few years ago. Again I tried to stay calm. Some of the nurses were turning me back and forth every few minutes to try and get the baby's heart rate to stay up.

The doctor and some of the nurses stood and watched the baby's heart rate for a few minutes since that was the biggest concern. Someone got a hold of my doctor, and he said he would be there in 10 min. The doctor that was in the room he got gowned up and said he felt that the baby would be ok for the 10 min but if my doctor were any longer we would be delivering the baby without him. The doctor and nurses crowded around the monitor again to keep track of the baby's heart rate. Keith and I were trying hard to be as calm as possible; it was a little hard with everything going on.

About 8 minutes later the doctor that was in the room with us said I needed to start pushing so he could see how the baby would react. With the next contraction, I started pushing. The baby's heart rate dipped even lower. The doctor said to wait a minute, and he got on some gloves, and everyone got ready to deliver the baby asap. Before he could have me push again, my doctor walked in, and some techs were already working on getting him gowned and ready. The doctors talked and with the next contraction my doctor said we needed to get the baby out and I needed to push hard. I was so happy to see my doctor. I have been seeing him for about six years, so we have a very good relationship, and I trust him.

The next contraction came, and I pushed as hard as I could. In the middle of pushing, my mom got there. I was so happy to see her and to have her there for the delivery. About four or five pushes in Cohen was out, and it was so unreal. There was the baby that had been curled up inside me for the last few months. Once he was out he was quickly rushed over to the nurses so they could do an assessment on him. My doctor then told us that he had the cord wrapped around his neck, and that was why his heart rate would drop with every contraction.

I was so relieved and happy that he was out and crying because that meant he was breathing. He was born at 11:58. He was 7lbs 4 oz and 19in long. After a few min they nurses let Keith bring Cohen over to me to see him up close. He was so tiny and so perfect. He had the cutest little whimper. I just held him close and loved every minute of it. I handed him to Keith and my mom so they could hold him for awhile. The hospital I was at does the post delivery assessment in the room, so they took care of all that before I was transferred to the Mother/Baby unit.

As I was being wheeled down to my new room, I could hear Landon's little-excited voice. He was telling everyone he saw that he was going to meet his new brother. I got settled in the room, and Landon came barreling in. He jumped up on the bed, and I gave him a big hug. Then he wanted to see his brother. He was so excited to hold him. They are going to be the best of friends.

From the beginning, he was a great eater and great sleeper. It has been so amazing to have Cohen join our family. It is amazing how you aren't sure if you can give more love and then you have a child and your love just grows immediately for them. I love being a mom to my two boys, and I feel so blessed to have been able to have two healthy beautiful boys.

From My Experience

Normally I keep my opinions and personal experiences to people who I am close to. With certain things that have come up in the news, I have this feeling that I need to say something and not just to the people I know. Some of the things that I will write about are personal and very sensitive but for some reason I feel it should be known. I don’t need sympathy. What I want is understanding and the education of people who have not experienced some of the terrible things I have.

There is a lot in the news about a certain family and the things that their son did when he was younger. I 100% percent agree that what he has done is horrible and inexcusable. That is not what I am here to discuss. What I want to give is a perspective of the victims. The individuals who are often forgot about because everyone is so focused on the perpetrator.

Here is a little background to why I know what I am talking about. Through various times in my life, I have experienced times of being that victim, being the one who was sexually molested or raped. Unfortunately, it wasn't a one-time thing. It started when I was 3 or 4 and happened multiple times, with different individuals, through the course of my life. It is something that isn’t easy to discuss. Each incident is burned into me memory, and I can’t forget. I have gone to counseling and various other things, and I have done extensive research on my own and I have found a way to continue in life.

When I was 3 or 4, I truly believe that the individuals involved were young and didn’t know what they were doing. They were cousins who were just a few years older than me. From the counseling I have received and the research I have done these boys were not trying to be sexual or cause harm there were just interested in the differences between boys and girls. I hold no resentment toward them or what happened.

What I had to go through when I was 11 was probably the worst experience of everything I have gone through thus far. What happened then caused more harm and hurt in my life than anything else I have ever experienced. I was not raped but the sexual molestation I went through was horrible. It was someone who I looked up, someone who I loved. I thought of this individual as an older brother who was there for me and would always protect me. For those reasons, it was the worst experience because I never expected someone so close to me to use that trust to do something terrible.

I did not tell my parents for years after it happened. Even though I knew what had happened was horrible and that I could tell the cops I didn’t want anything bad to happen to him. I still cared about him, and I didn’t want to deal with cops or the law or anything like that. What I ultimately wanted was for my parents to hear what happened and accept it and love me. Not all victims want their perpetrator in jail or have a record. Sometimes that isn’t want they need. If I had to go through a court trial for what happened I would be more scared and hurt than with what I went through.

I believe that there are time and incidences in which getting in contact with the authorities and relying on the justice system are necessary and good. Some victims need it and want it. There are good things that can come from that route but in this incidence I didn’t need or want it. I think I partly didn’t tell anyone because I was afraid of having to go through the judicial system. Sometimes we are so anxious to find who did it and punished them that we don’t look deeper, we don’t find the cause.

For the parent who has their child come to them to tell them something like this happened, first, give your child love. Your child has gone through something horrible and probably very confusing (I remember thinking how can something so wrong cause such good feelings). Next, give your child the opportunity to tell you what they want. Sometimes they are not ready to give every detail. It is very hard because sometimes when a victim tells their story they have to relive it in their mind for the next few days or weeks. Don’t immediately jump to conclusions and try to “fix” the problem. Ask your child what they need. Calmly explain to them their options. They may need counseling or they may not. Also, sometimes they will need to see a few counselors before finding one that they associate with and trust. I ended up going through five before finding one who honestly changed my life.

Parents need to realize that this is not something that is a quick fix, and it may take years for things to improve. What they have gone through is horrible and will be with them for the rest of their lives. Parents should remind their children that what they have gone through does not have to define the rest of their lives, it is what they do to overcome the experience and move forward that will affect their lives.

The world today is so sexualized, and women are made to be this mysterious idealistic vision of an object to be used for pleasure. Not to excuse anything, but I can’t imagine how confusing it is for some teenagers to understand sex and sexuality. I have learned how important it is to teach children when they are young about sex and the differences between boys and girls. The teachings CANNOT be abstinence only teaching. These kids need to understand what sex is and how things work. It is one thing just to tell them about their parts or the parts of the opposite sex. It is so much better to explain to them why sex feels good and why certain feeling is felt.

My other experiences with sexual abuse happened when I was in my first two years of college. They ranged from being drugged and waking up with someone inside of me to what is known as relationship sexual abuse. With each experience, I wanted different things. In the relationship, I just wanted him to apologize and understand that when I said no I meant no. There was only one instance that I truly wanted someone to be put in jail for what they did to me. I tried and it was not a very good experience.

The guy was a horrible person. What he did was intentional and he knew what he did was wrong and unwanted. When the cops went to talk to him, he just denied that I ever said no and because we were both over 18 there wasn’t a whole lot that could be done. The cops I talked to was very kind about the situation and was even a little tearful when he was telling me what my options were. He told me that I would spend more money and energy and time trying to defend what happened to me than was worth it. He said the case wasn’t strong enough to have a slam dunk case. He apologized and told me he had daughters and wished there was something more that could be done. It was hard but at that time I was so emotionally drained and so depressed with everything that had happened in the last few years that I was just done fighting.

Looking back I am glad that I didn’t press charges on any of my perpetrators. There are some things that I would have changed, like telling my parents sooner about the experience when I was 11. It took many years to forgive this person because of the relationship that we had previous to the incident. If I had wanted to go the legal route to find redemption, it probably would have ruined his life. I never want to intentionally ruin someone’s life unless they truly deserve it.

I believe that people make stupid mistakes and should have an opportunity to be forgiven for what they have done. Sometimes people need love and not punishment. A lot of time, people need some counseling and understanding and not hatred and punishment. I have learned that you never know what truly is going on with other people. You don’t know what experiences they have had that have lead them down the path they are on.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting. I still have incidences when I wake up at night not being able to breathe because I had a bad dream or a panic attack. I am also still very cautious about making close relationships because I still have this part of me that is convinced that people close to you hurt you. It is possible to more forward after hard experiences. It is possible to find someone you trust and love and who respects you 100% after being sexually abused.

Family, Baby, School... Life Continues

Landon loves the train

It has been awhile since I have blogged... Ok, it has almost been a year. This past year we have seen some changes in our lives. A few months after moving into our home I graduated BYU. It was so good to be finally done. In August, I started a new job and ended up completely leaving my old job. It was very sad, but it was time to move on. After some thought and discussion, we decided that I should go and get my MBA. I started at the end of September at the University of Phoenix. I go to campus once a week for class, and it is very friendly to those that are working and have other things in life besides school.

One is never enough

So the biggest change for us is that in January we found out we were pregnant again. It was unexpected. We have been trying for over a year and tried many different things, and medications, and nothing was working. My hormones were completely off and was not ovulating with any medication. Personally I was emotionally and physically exhausted. I thought it would never happen again for us. We were about ten days from meeting with a doctor to discuss surgeries or IVF, when we found out we were pregnant!

*Disclaimer this is a little more personal and my complete opinion on things so if you don't want to read that just skip down*

I have to say before I start talking about the pregnancy. I am very grateful that I have been able to get pregnant this one last time. I know that I am lucky. I know that people struggle longer and go through a lot more to get pregnant. That being said it does not change how HORRIBLE pregnancy is for me. For me being pregnant, is a love/hate type of situation. For me, pregnancy is very hard and causes more problems for me than I can even name. I love the outcome I just have a  hard time with the nine months of pregnancy. There is some real emotion roller-coaster rides having such a hard time. Since it is so hard on me and because of some of the other health issues I have this has to be the last baby because I need to have a hysterectomy soon. I haven't decided exactly when that will happen, but it will happen in the next year.

Our little baby

That same day we found out I was pregnant, I was bleeding a lot and cramping like crazy. At the same time, I was starting to get so nauseated. It was a Saturday so I just kept those things to myself until I could call a doctor on Monday. I got in first thing on Monday, and they took some blood to compare with. I had to go back a few days later to get another blood test to see if my hormone levels were rising enough to constitute a pregnancy. It was a scary few days. After I got the results back, they said there were some other levels that were off, and I needed to start some medications and come back in ten days for an ultrasound.

Keith and Landon came to the ultrasound appointment with me. Landon was so excited to see the baby on the screen. We were able to hear a heartbeat that day, and it was so unreal. Ever since Landon comes up and pulls up my shirt to "look" at the baby. By this time, I was very sick and throwing up a lot. The doctor prescribed me a new medication that just recently came out to help with morning sickness. It was quite expensive, but it really did help.  It just helped, so I wasn't running to the bathroom to throw up every hour or two. Unfortunately, it didn't help that I had no appetite and couldn't be around food without being sick.

With the early scare and my hormone levels not being quite right and everything else, we decided to keep this information to a few people. I had to tell the people I worked with so they didn't think I was weird for always going to the bathroom or not being able to eat much. Other than that we just kept it to a few family members and close friends. We wanted to make sure that the baby was alright and kept developing as he should.

Landon thinks he is waving

The first trimester was horrible I was sick all the time. I ended up losing about 20 pounds because of how sick I was. I had little to no appetite. It was really hard for everyone in the family. I was so sick, and if I wasn't at work or school I was in bed. Poor Keith was pretty much a single parent for 12ish weeks. He did all the cooking and cleaning because it all made me throw up. I couldn't even open the fridge or go in the pantry without throwing up. Landon was so cute and would come rub my back and ask me if I was ok when I was throwing up. With the nausea I also had really bad GI problems, kidney stones twice, pretty bad cold, my lovely heart issue came back and once again I have become allergic to my husband...

Keith has been amazing through everything. He has been there for me and for Landon. He does everything he can without complaint. He is very supportive of everything I have going on and does everything he can to help me. We had made plans for Valentine's Day, and I was way to sick to do anything. He went out and got me a very beautiful purse because he thought flowers, candy and food would make me sick. It is so cute to see him and Landon playing together. Landon gets so excited to go hang out with dad.

Finally around week 15 I started feeling less nauseated and was able to back off the medications. It isn't completely gone but now usually a Dr. Pepper helps. I'm not sure why but it works so I won't complain; it also helps with the crazy headaches that I've been getting. I also started getting my appetite back, and it is so nice to be kind of normal again.

Baby Boy

We found out on March 31st that we were having another boy. At first we were a little disappointing since we wanted a girl with this being our last pregnancy. After talking it over, ordering the cutest blanket from A Miracle Unfolding, we thought of all the good things and decided if we really felt we needed a girl down the road we could adopt a little girl. Landon is very excited, and he will be such a good brother and they will be such good friends. Landon is already talking about playing trucks with his brother.

Doughnut Picnic 

Enough about pregnancy here is a little about Landon. He is such a smart kid. I know everyone says that about their kid but he really is getting smarter and smarter. He can tell you any construction vehicle. He knows which ones are grandpas and which ones are not. He talks so much! I think it comes from him being around so many adults, but that is ok. He loves being outside and playing at the park. He also loves reading, we sometimes hear him in his room reading books when he should be sleeping. He loves his uncle Jackson and will follow him everywhere when he is around. He is obsessed with Bubble Guppies. He can name all the charters and can repeat some of the stories back, which is so cute.


So, I will try to keep the blog somewhat updated but I have a lot going on with the family, work and school. Also in about six weeks I'll be talking four classes in twelve weeks so I can have a little break when he baby comes.

Because of Him

So I just finished my last five papers of the semester! Four of them for one class... In celebration I was rewarding myself with a little Facebook time. Scrolling through a video link caught my attention. Because of Him. Maybe it was because I just finished four papers for my Family Life of World Religions class or maybe it was what i needed today, but I clicked on the link. (It was probably a little of both.)

This video made me think about a couple of things.

First, in thinking of all the fun things that go along with Easter was i taking the time to remember what this Easter season is really about. I will admit I've been caught up in a lot of other things and haven't really taken enough time to reflect on what the Easter season is about. I have decided that this week I will take some time each day to read and reflect on the days leading up to the first Easter.

Second, I was reflecting on my life in general and what I have been given because of Christ. There were many things I thought of but ultimately the thing that I am most grateful for is Landon. I still remember the day I was told there was less than a 5% chance (that was being generous) that I would be able to have a child. I was devastated. I remember going home and kneeling down and pleading with God to let me have a child. I have never wanted anything more in my life. For months I plead for a child. Through all the negative pregnancy test and the emotional roller coaster that puts one on I kept asking daily for a child. Then the day came when that pregnancy test was finally positive. It was one of the best days of my life. As horrible as pregnancy was I got the best gift that could ever be given. I got Landon. It is not easy having a child. It has been really hard going to school, working and being a mom but I wouldn't change it for the world. Landon has changed my life in ways I never expected. I know without a doubt that without God having Landon would not have been possible. Everyday I am reminded of the amazing blessing I have been given. Sometimes I still can't believe that I was given such an amazing blessing.

It Has Been Awhile

This is his I'm the boss pose 

It has been a few months, so maybe it has been 6 months... since I have done an update so i thought I better do a quick one before the craziness of finals, work, moving and everything else happens.

So since my last post...

Little Yoda

 For Halloween he was a little Yoda. I was afraid that he would not be happy about wearing the costume but he loved it and he loved his light saber that he got to carry around. He also loved that he got so much candy. He will stand by where we have his candy and make noise until we come get him some. He may not talk much but he does know how to get what he wants.

He loved the light saber

Keith got offered a new position in November at Ancestry. He is really liking the new position and the responsibilities and opportunities that he has. We are also very grateful for the great insurance that they have, it has been used well... He had to quit the second job he has because of time and with his pay increase it wasn't necessary.

The end of November and December were crazy. There was a lot to do with finishing up the semester, having surgery for endometriosis, and getting things together for Christmas. Thankfully I got most of Christmas done before December so that I could focus on finals. It was so nice to have that semester end.

Playing with is Christmas toys

Landon still didn't quite get the whole Christmas thing but he sure did love ripping apart wrapping paper. there were a few times we caught him unwrapping things before he should. We spend Christmas Eve at my parents so that Christmas morning Landon could be with my siblings because they are more exciting than Keith and I. Landon got a Kitchen which he just loves. He will stir things up and bring them over for me to try. His other favorite thing he got was a broom from Keith's sister Emily. He carried it around for about 3 days and got very mad when we wouldn't let him sleep with it.

Traveling to California

In January we took a quick trip to Northern California to see Keith's family. Landon just loved being there. It was a perfect time since it was almost 70 degrees! Landon just loved being outside and spending time with his grandparents and uncles. Landon was actually really good on the trip there and back. We had a mini DVD player and as long as something was playing he would happily sit there and watch. He also was excited to eat all the fun things he doesn't usually get. We decided that when we were traveling our sanity was the most important thing

Playing in California

February and March we mostly stayed in, recovered from a kidney stone surgery and did homework. I'm talking 18 credits semester so it has been busy trying to keep Landon happy and getting everything for school done. Honestly sometimes school work doesn't all get done, mostly readings, because Landon just wants to play. He is so funny and keeps us busy. I'm just waiting for our first ER trip because he is dangerously fearless. I have found him in many places that he shouldn't be.

Working on Valentines

At the end of February we started casually looking at places to buy. Of course the second place we saw we fell in love. We walked in and we just felt like it was our home.  It was so open and welcoming. After some negations we had an accepted offer a few days later. It is a cute town home in Lehi, UT just 10 min from my parents. It is almost 2300 sq ft and has a wonderful double deep garage! Keith is excited to finish the rest of the basement and have a movie room. So far everything has gone well. We got the news yesterday that our loan went through so we are looking to close sometime around the 14th of April! It will be so fun to have our own place that we can paint and decorate however we want.

Landon and his Minions

Today we took Landon to the doctor for his 18 month appointment. He is 35 in and 26.6 lbs. He is 99 percentile on height and like 72 percentile on weight. He is a pretty healthy big kid. He did have to get three shots that he was not happy about but he only cried for about 20 seconds and then he just wanted a sucker from the receptionist. He is very busy and very smart. He really thinks he is the boss of everything and everything is his. He is getting better and better at figuring out electronic which is a little scary. His favorite you-tube videos are the sail cat and the minion banana song. He is also quite obsessed with Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood. He LOVES animals and gets so excited when he sees them. He knows what dogs, ducks and cows say and reminds us often. I think he needs a dog, Keith isn't convinced yet... He is so much fun and it is so exciting to watch him discover new things.

Our first pack moving box

Life for me is busy between work, school and taking care of Landon but the good news is I am almost done with school! I only have two more weeks of classes and one week of finals. Then I have spring term which ends the middle of June and I will be graduated! It will be such a relief to finally be done with school.

Our life has a lot of things going on but they are all for the good. It is exciting to be entering in to these new phases of our life.

LANDON'S FIRST BIRTHDAY!!!

I can't believe it but today is Landon's first birthday! It just doesn't feel like a year since I had him. Sometimes I think I could do labor again. Here is that story for anyone interested. I am not ready to be pregnant again. I'm still recovering from the first time. We have had such a fun year watching him grow and lean so many new things. He is such an amazing blessing in our lives and we couldn't ask for a better child.








We decided to celebrate his birthday yesterday since Keith now works at night. We went up to my parents for dinner and dessert. He just loves being around family and has so much fun with everyone. It is so cute to see him get excited when he sees people he knows. He loved the cupcake and made a good mess. He had so much fun so it was worth it. After dinner we gave him presents. He got clothes, shoes, books, a bath set and toys. He absolutely loved the books he got. He just sat there opening them and saying something that all of us couldn't understand.

Today was just a low key day we hung out this morning before Keith had to go to work. We kept calling him birthday boy and he would get so excited and start laughing. This afternoon my friend from work took some family pictures for us. (The last ones we took were bridals... somethings have changed...) Landon was good for awhile and then he just got bored. After I got him some food and we came home and played and he went to bed around 7. No very exciting for him but he is only one and he was just happy to play all day.

Landon is getting taller and taller. He is mostly in 18 month clothes because he is so tall but he is so skinny that they fall off his little bum. He thinks it is funny when we are chasing him around trying to get his pants back where they should be. Landon just learned how to do down the stairs so he is very excited about that. He is also drinking milk now and if he is not done when the milk and it is gone he will go to the fridge and yell at us until we come get more for him.

Landon loves being where we are and doing what we are doing. He loves to help in the kitchen and watch things in the oven. He loves watching the Bosch mix things. He is into everything tries to figure out how everything works. Once he figures it out we are in trouble.. He recently figured out the toilets and so we had to put locks on the toilets. However his absolute favorite thing is the brooms and mop. He carried them around everywhere even though they are twice as tall as him.

We learned quickly that Landon is not a good restaurant patron. Once he could babble and starting being more aware of everything, going out anywhere became a task. We took him out a few times and he would scream and yell at people to get them to look at him. Then he started throwing food at people and wiggling around until he got out of his seat. It is hard to not get mad when he is laughing at everything his is doing. Now we get stuff to go or just get a babysitter because we cannot take him anywhere. I guess no kid can be perfect.

Other than things with Landon our life has been crazy. Keith took a part time job from 10 pm- 9 am so we can start saving for a house again and getting completely out of debt. On top of that he is now working at his main job from about 1-9:30 p.m. His work hired some temps for a later shift and they needed someone at night to help out so Keith was offered that job. It was a pay raise so he accepted it even though the hours are not ideal. It is hard not having here at night but we do get him here in the morning and Landon loves playing with his dad.

I am still working two days at the hospital and then I am also doing eighteen credits at school. I go once a week to the BYU Salt Lake Center once a week and have four classes. It is a long ten hour day but you have to do what you can when you are a mother. I also have two online classes that I am also taking. The plan is to be done by June at the latest. It will be a crazy few months but then I will be done with my undergrad and can just take a break for awhile. The hardest thing about it all is really just time management. It is a struggle to decide when to spend time with family and when to do homework but I'm slowly figuring all that out. I just tell myself the end is near and then there will be more time for family.

Landon is basically the most exciting thing in our life right now. There isn't much time for anything else. Thus I haven't had much time to blog... Maybe when school is done I'll get back to the food blogging... At least I hope so...

Derby Pie

This is one of my favorite desserts! It is so rich, delicious and super easy to make! It is perfect topped with Whipped cream or ice cream!

1 frozen Pie crust

1/2 cup flour

2 eggs beaten

1 cup chopped pecans

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 cup sugar

1/4 cup butter melted

1 cup chocolate chip

Beat eggs and slowly add sugar butter vanilla and flour. Mix in nuts and chips pour in pie shell. Bake 25-30 min at 350 degrees. I think it is better served warm but it still tastes wonderful cooled.